I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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