So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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