I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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