There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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