I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
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Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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