If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
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