4 words: hood of his car
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize