He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
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he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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