It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize