just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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