it wasn't lemon gatorade
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize