it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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