The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
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I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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