I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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