ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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