Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My life is pants optional.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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