make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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