The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Boobs are out for the taking
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize