please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize