also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize