A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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