Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
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I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
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I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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