Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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