It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
