so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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