she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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