apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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