Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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