There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize