my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize