you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
