We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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