His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
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I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
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I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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