maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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