he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize