remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize