This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
even my farts smell like vagina
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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