If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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