jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
farters have to be the big spoon...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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