Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize