I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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