There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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