So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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