I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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