So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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