Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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