Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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