She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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