I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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