dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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